Monday, October 11, 2010

Set fire to the silvering process, Mr. Niepce.

Overwhelmed. Yeah, I guess...I mean, I guess that would be part of it. No. No, not actually overwhelmed--over stimulated. Yes. This is much more fitting. Over stimulated. Not so cliche either.

Over. Stimulated. Over saturated. Over....

You know, pictures. Pictures are such strange things. Gross things. Not gross like that--god, you and your definitions. Gross in like, a perversity. See--no, not like the perversity you know but like the type dealing with a thing's nature--strangeness. Is that, well, is that more universal? Pictures have strangeness. They are strange and...and haunting. And grossly (as in largely) perverse (as in crudely unnatural) stamps of reality passed; thrust constantly into the present moment--stagnant and never changing. Trapped. A moment trapped. A ghost, a stolen ghost of time we conquer and chain to an endless present. Dragging a ball and chain of photographs--or frozen, pale, lifeless images.

And we are cruel. We duplicate them, alter them, strip them of the only truth and integrity they are born with. We cut, we tape, we rip, we post. And we catch ourselves, mostly. Self absorbed, self indulged and entranced by our own ghostly, pixilated snippets of time.

Look at your picture. Look at it and stop looking at yourself. Look at the moment. At the drained and imprisoned wormhole of ever flowing reality. You've created multiple dimensions. Memories--a singular moment from the past on repeat in the present, eagerly and gluttonously feeding on the future. For what is 'memory'? Reality: caught in a wormhole, created by illusions on repeat.

But then, what are illusions anyhow? Everything definable, such as "illusions", must have a foundation in something truthful. Yes, because, if we comprehend a given definition--then, there is truth within it that we ourselves can recognize. What then, is real and what is illusion when all can be explained in adequate and comprehensible definition? How do we categorize 'illusion'....more importantly--why?

So. A picture, in my own definition--is an illusion. Because it is something false. A falsified reality. And people believe it. People trust this impossible snippet of a reality dead. And yet, it is definable--so, it is as honest and true and real an illusion as anything else in the universe.

Reality and illusion are one in the same, sans our own cowardly categorizations. And shame on me, as I am typically, almost always...okay always...quite cowardly by my own standard.

This is the picture that started this whole rant. I was staring at it. It is me. It is a blunt and raw lamination of all my insecurities and most of my flaws. If you look at the moment, not the person, you'd see it. Se my...her....its...thoughts. Its before and Its after and since then, its everything in between. Its weight, its smell, Its illusions. Real or illusion. Important to know?
Both are equally truthful.
But. What does it matter. All this crap about real and not. At the end of the day, I am afraid of both conclusions. At least I still have enough in me to care enough to be afraid. More frightening still is the absence of fear. And thus the loss of fight, and loss of drive, and loss of danger--willing us to survive. I still care about photographs.



  1. I personally like this part right here :

    "So. A picture, in my own definition--is an illusion. Because it is something false. A falsified reality. And people believe it. People trust this impossible snippet of a reality dead. And yet, it is definable--so, it is as honest and true and real an illusion as anything else in the universe."

    The way you describe/define picture is literally nice and abstract.They do seriously can be described as illusion and this illusion mostly comes from our imaginations sometimes. The way we imagine is the way we illustrate and the way we see. We draw our own thinking, we capture and look at our own pictures and we have different "flashbacks" popping up or playing in our mind each time we looked at ourselves in these pictures...

  2. Hey Analeigh,
    First of all, I just want u to know, I love you. I love your work, your writing, they're awesome!
    And this one, is really great, seriously!
    Keep up the good work! Be edgy :)
    I'm saying hi, from Indonesia. Hope you can say hi to me soon/one day :)
    Love you Analeigh,
    xxx Asti

  3. wow, you can get really really lost in your thoughts but not drown in it... so reality is full of illusions, people create illusions (unreality=opposite of reality) but that doesn't mean we're not illusions too created by some 'Master of Illusions' ;D

    Ahh the 'will to survive', YES, motivation, purpose, passion, and as long as I have freedom, I'll still live.

    ♫ Listening to The Cranberries - Put Me Down while reading this...very surreal indeed... love your blog ♥

  4. Absolutely beautiful, and very true.

  5. Listening to this when reading your text, i started crying of course

  6. Ok, i can't give you anymore schoolground/high-school english-paper-type analyses. I think I came to this website expecting to hear a fancy word or two from ANTM's all-time favorite sweetheart. Instead I stumbled upon a world of pure bewilderment, unabashed existential understanding, perceptual penetration at the metaphysical level, astute chaos, and just about any other sagacious sounding thing i can come up with. Geez, the intensity of your daily existence is overstimulating to you, short-circuiting to me. And yet, there's a side of you that's so gentle and softhearted, perhaps so disconnected with the rest of you that I know you're bound to deem it weakness. But don't. If anything it makes you that much more amazing. Treasure it and guard it, don't let anyone trample over it. I don't think i've ever met anyone who could blow me away with nothing but a pen and pad. My heart and mind are in overdrive, im speechless at the moment. Gotta head to class. Analeigh Tipton, you are a world.

  7. hi Sly,
    Cranberries song-Put Me Down is great! and listen to that song, while reading this, is perfect!
    U're gorgeous! x

  8. Hello Asti, Put Me Down is from The Cranberries album Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can't We and No Need To Argue have Ode To My Family, Empty, Zombie...their albums have the best songs in the planet... a very awesome band... i love them... ^^

  9. i think we think the same way.. glad to meet you on the internet! i'm following you now!

  10. yes, you're right Sly. Even when I was in junior high, I played all the songs on their best album with my band! :)

  11. analeigh, you're pretty amazing :)

  12. What's certain is that there's no definite answer to your question. I think life's a series of gray areas. Real or not, what is important is that an individual had the curiosity, nay, the guts to merely ask that question. And so, kudos to you. As my bestfriend said, the world is too relative, too volatile for comfort. However, we need to realize that at the end of the day we create our own realities and illusions. And yes, that is a scary thing. No wonder why most people refrain from such contemplations. What's absolutely scarier though is to become indifferent to the whole affair.

    It was a stimulating read. Ciao.

  13. I was about to say the same as´s all subjective. Everyone takes their own illusions of things. (I could have said "photos" instead of "things" but I guess you chose that object just as an example for the main goal of the text)

    And am I full of illusions...well...time for bed here...get more illusions (aka dreams)

    As someone also´re pretty amazing ;)

  14. Analeigh,
    I "Googled" you after seeing a preview of Crazy Stupid Love because I kept thinking, "The babysitter was phenomenal, why does she look so familiar..." I was on the phone with my sister when I realized and started going, "Oh my gosh!"
    Ever since I read your blog I can't get it out of mind. It's unique and insightful, and I hope you continue to write!

  15. it just beautiful
    it really touching and true
    please keep blogging
    love from penang malaysia

  16. I found your blog yesterday and I’ve been reading everything you wrote here. Your writing is really beautiful and true Analeigh!
    Never stop blogging please, you're amazing.
    PS: I sent a message to your myspace and I really want you to read it, please. :)

  17. I love the rhythm of your writing. :).

  18. Hi Analeigh?
    I know you from ANTM cycle 11
    I just wanna know you that you're amazing!
    You have a great personality,appearance,body and huge potential.I'm so happy that I found your blog even though I'm not fluent in english so I cant understand half of words your saying but I'll really try my best to understand it.B.t.w
    I wanna congratulate you to your acting career @ Green hornet.Good luck and wish you all the best.XOXOXO love from Mongolia

  19. Just browsing the internet and fell upon your blog :) I love your work.

    Florida Beach Wedding | Real Estate |
    Portable Generator | Dolls Baby

  20. your writing is a rare inspiration, and i would be very gratful if you wrote some more. :)

  21. Wow. I think that is beautiful. :)

  22. Hey Analeigh, why don't you write more? :( Really miss your entries.

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